Cards on the Table
by Gilpin
Summary: A perfectly boring Order Meeting is enlivened no end when Severus Snape asks a very interesting question. Just who has been fixing the Duty Roster and why? COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Set in late January during Order of the Phoenix**

**Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, but she's got some wonderful characters I'm borrowing for a bit and having my wicked way with.**

**This fic is dedicated to Lady Bracknell, who first made the suggestion that I wrote something myself, and MrsTater, who made it again and again. Thanks to you both for giving me the excuse my easily swayed subconscious was looking for. I hope you don't regret it.**

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**Cards On The Table**

**Chapter 1: The Disorderly Order Meeting.**

It really was turning into the most excruciating meeting of the Order of the Phoenix ever. Which was probably because she wanted it over with as soon as possible.

Tonks gave up trying to see through one of the blackened kitchen windows of Grimmauld Place. It had long been dark outside anyway on such an icy cold January night. She toyed with the idea of writing 'Hot young witch needs rescuing! Apply within!' in the grime with her finger, but decided against it, not least because she was liable to catch something. Moody might appear to be deeply engrossed in a lengthy report on how he'd caught a troll traitor while at the barbers on his day off, but neither eye really missed a lot. Much as she liked the old curmudgeon, she liked him missing quite a few things as far as she was concerned even more.

"And then I doubled back again," said Moody, nodding with gruff approval at Kingsley, who was sat ramrod-straight and seemed to be the only one paying attention, "past the dryers in case I had it wrong and the blighter really was only there for a short back and sides."

Tonks sank back to hide her face in the side of the cracked brown leather two-seater, which she always made a bee-line for. Remus said it was the only comfy chair in the house. Depending on who you sat next to, of course. She wished he was sitting next to her to hear this. Except she wouldn't dare look at him in case he raised one of those expressive eyebrows very slightly at her and she choked. When Remus chaired meetings the atmosphere was always relaxed but things got done. They were getting done at this one too, until Dumbledore had unexpectedly arrived and whisked him away for a word. Presumably it was about the task Remus had only just got back from, and no doubt Sirius would get a mention too, but it really was lousy timing.

This had left a tired Arthur, still recovering from his run-in with the snake, and seemingly unable to stop Moody building up a head of steam, Dung playing cards at the back, Sirius toying with a thankfully empty silver goblet, Molly knocking back a fairy cake, Hestia admiring her violet nails and Severus Snape watching proceedings, and occasionally herself, with a condescending smirk. He'd arrived with Dumbledore and that was damned odd because he _must _know the duty roster had been altered? She'd seen Remus send the owl just before they'd sat down to one of Molly's wonderful roasts, and she'd gone from not being able to eat a thing at the thought of a patrol with Snape to absolutely stuffing herself at the prospect of one with Remus. And thanking Merlin she'd resisted the impulse to charm the roster yet again because she'd really pushed her luck there lately.

So why was Snape here? He rarely attended and when he did the only thing he added was a noticeable dip in temperature. Tonks looked at Sirius as it wasn't long since the pair of them had nearly come to blows over Harry and the Occlumency lessons, but Sirius hadn't even glanced at Snape once. He seemed to be telling Dung about the Top Ten Things You Didn't Do In Azkaban, a list he'd shared many times with her and Remus during a late night session.

"And number three," she saw rather than heard his lips say, "is never fall asleep with your mouth open."

Dung gave a loud belch of appreciation and dropped some of his cards on the floor, which Sirius bent down to get for him. Tonks knew the back of them showed the scantily-clad Helford Hellcats, an all-female Quidditch team famous for their unusual…_dexterity _with a broomstick. They were obviously demonstrating this now as Sirius laughed, and she hoped fiercely that Molly wouldn't notice, that the meeting would end, and Snape would clear off in his long black cloak and take the gloom with him.

But could anything shut Mad-Eye up?

As if in answer to her thought, the door opened with a loud creak of protest and revealed Dumbledore and Remus.

"Alastor," said Dumbledore smiling slightly and rather resplendent in green robes, "I'm so sorry to interrupt but I need a word with Kingsley and Arthur. Perhaps this might be a good time to finish?" He looked across at Tonks. "I hope you'll forgive me for sending you out on such a bitterly cold night, my dear? At least there'll be two of you to moan about me."

"I'm resigned to it. And the company." Tonks grinned at them both.

"That's the spirit. A bracing stroll, a little deceit and betrayal to observe and then, hopefully, some splendid news for our side." Dumbledore smiled at her, eyes twinkling, and then turned to say something to Remus.

Sometimes it was all too easy to miss the horror in Dumbledore's words. Tonks shivered slightly and moved so she could feel the reassuring heat coming from the great fireplace to her left. Moody was looking slightly put out at being cut off in mid-flow so as she caught his normal eye she winked. He glared at her and growled something under his breath. She glanced around the room, trying to hide a grin, and saw Snape leaning forward in his chair and staring fixedly at Dumbledore and Remus. His expression was hidden from her, but she had the sudden, inexplicable urge to shout a warning. Which was ridiculous. It was just her guilty conscience making her jumpy. Making her think he waited like some menacing bird of prey, judging the precise moment to pounce.

"Has anyone any questions as it's getting late?" Remus' slightly hoarse voice broke into her thoughts and she welcomed the interruption. He was wearing the dark brown sweater Molly had rather unwillingly knitted him for Christmas, having set her heart on aubergine, and a faded, tatty pair of jeans. Much like her own, but then she'd paid a lot to have them look like that.

Remus looked round the room. "No? Right then, I suggest we - "

"Just a minute, Lupin. I do indeed have a question," Severus Snape's voice cut across him like a swathe through grass. It was loaded with malice and Tonks knew, with sickening certainty, that she hadn't been wrong. Here indeed was trouble and more.

"I'd like to know when I start my patrol tonight with Nymphadora," Snape said, and the way he drawled_ Nymphadora_, and flicked her a sideways glance down his hooked nose made her want to hex him on the spot.

His words had an instant effect. Sirius sat bolt upright, Moody's magical eye started whizzing round, and even Dung showed hitherto unknown signs of animation. Molly seemed to have frozen mid-chew.

Everyone turned automatically to look at the lean figure at the head of the room. The flames from the fire lit the side of his face nearest her, illuminating the premature lines and turning the grey-brown hair to copper. He looked perfectly composed.

_Why, oh why, hadn't she warned him when she had the chance?_

"I don't quite understand, Severus," said Remus, politely. "The roster was changed. Did you not receive an owl?"

"Oh, I received an owl all right, _thank you_." The sarcasm was biting. "An owl I couldn't possibly comprehend."

"Was the writing not clear?" Remus spoke with a concern and courtesy that was faultless. Dung gave an audible snort that rather spoilt the effect. "I have to apologise. I was in a bit of a rush and - "

"Oh, I bet you were, Lupin. I bet you were" Snape was leaning so far forward in his seat that he was almost doubled over. "After all you only got back this afternoon and you must have been absolutely _devastated_ to find out for the first time in - let's see is it five or six patrols now? - that you weren't paired with Nymphadora. What went wrong? Didn't you leave precise enough instructions?"

"Actually I think it's five since Christmas," Remus frowned slightly. For a moment Tonks thought he was going to count on his fingers to check. Her mind was screaming at her. There was no way she could let him take the flack for something she'd done. Eventhough she'd not actually done it this time.

_How bloody unfair was that?_

"I'm very impressed by your ability to keep track of Order patrols, Severus. Considering how few meetings you can attend with your busy schedule, it's – well, impressive is the word." Remus nodded with approval as if he were discussing the promised mild spell of weather to come, but there was a slightly cooler tone to his next words.

"Am I to understand you have some sort of problem with this particular one?"

This time it was Sirius who snorted. Snape shot him a look of pure loathing and stood up slowly. He looked taller and wider and blacker than the slighter figure opposite. Tonks felt her fingers curl involuntarily around her wand. She'd back Remus against Snape any day but, thanks to her, the odds were stacked heavily against him here.

"My problem, Lupin, is that you are acting in a totally unprofessional and inappropriate way that could jeopardise the safety and stability of the Order. The roster is your responsibility, is it not?"

"Indeed it is." Remus nodded slowly. Thoughtfully.

"So did you think no one would notice?" Snape was sneering now. "Did you think no one would keep track? _Did you think we were all stupid_?"

There was a slight pause.

"I 'adn't noticed like," said Dung, helpfully. He turned his head. "'Ad you 'Estia?"

Hestia Jones looked absolutely horrified to be singled out for attention. She shook her head vigorously in denial.

"No?" Dung looked satisfied. "T'isn't just me then. Course I 'ain't sure what all the bother's about, like. I does a lot of patrols and stuff with Mrs Figg and there ain't nothin' going on there. Gawd blimey no!"

Sirius laughed loudly. Tonks would have as well if her heart hadn't been in her mouth.

Snape hadn't taken his eyes off Remus.

"Lost for words are we, Lupin?" he enquired acidly.

"And Mad-Eye and Kingsley are always on patrol t'gether, like," went on Dung to no one in particular. "And you'd 'ave to 'ave a mind like a bloody sewer to think there was any funny business there."

"I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to be answering, Severus," said Remus, politely. "I seem to be missing your point."

His eyes flicked, briefly, to Tonks and then away again. His expression was unreadable.

Oh Merlin, she thought. He knows.

"See does it matter if they wants to get in t'other's knickers?" Dung now addressed the transfixed room with an enquiring shrug of his bony shoulders. "Er, Remus and Tonksy I means, not the other two. Gawd blimey! Got me at it now. But she's a pretty little thing. Perfectly understandable. And I'm sure he'd like to have a good - "

"_Will you shut up?"_ Snape swung round and roared at him. "This has _nothing_ to do with you! It's between Lupin and me!"

"Eh?" Dung peered at him balefully through his matted ginger hair and looked rather hurt. "Right you are. Sorry, like. Anyone seen me pipe?"

Snape turned his back on him. Two bright red spots of colour burned in his sallow cheeks. Tonks thought about hexing him - and herself - into oblivion.

"Touch of the ol' green eye, I reckon," muttered Dung, in a voice he presumably imagined was under his breath, while hunting round the table and patting his numerous pockets. "Dunno which one of 'em it's for, mind."

Sirius collapsed in a howl of laughter. Tonks would have as well in another lifetime. When it wasn't all hitting so very close to home. She risked a glance round the room. Moody - bless him - was looking from Remus to her with concern on his face, Molly's mouth was wide open, Hestia was staring fixedly at her boots. And Remus? She risked a quick glance. Inscrutable as ever. Except the corner of his mouth was turned up slightly. That slight curl she'd learnt to look for.

If she didn't know better, she'd think he was enjoying this.

Snape had turned his attention to Sirius. Who looked as if that was just _exactly _what he wanted. Oh, hell -

"Of course you would find this amusing Black, wouldn't you? Rule breaking and putting lives at risk always appealed to you. I expect it was you who messed the roster up for your pal." Snape literally heaved air into his lungs, which he expelled in a snarl of hatred. _"Too drunk to remember what you were supposed to do, were you?"_

The room erupted. Tonks was on her feet and so were several other people. Sirius was reaching for his wand. And everyone shouted at once.

"I'm warning you, _Snivellus - "_

"Sirius! Leave this to me!"

"That's right, Black. Do what your keeper tells you to."

"Why you whey-faced - "

"Remember what I told you, Padfoot!"

"It was Arthur who sorted out tonight's patrol! Nothing to do with Remus or Sirius!"

"Really, Molly? Do you think Arthur's brain is capable of working quickly enough when I question him to back you up on this? I rather doubt it myself."

"I could do a nice deal on a wedding cake an' booze if anyone's interested, like?"

"Severus, let's discuss this on our own as it seems to be getting a little out of hand?"

"You're being damned insulting, Snape, to fellow Order members! Totally unprofessional! It's confidential information but I did tonight's patrol list!"

"Really, Mad-Eye? And I understood you were in Scotland all day today. How very far-reaching of you."

"_It was me!" _Tonks shouted to make herself heard over the din. _"For Merlin's sake, Snape, it was me!"_

The room fell silent immediately. Everybody stared at her.

"It was me," she repeated more quietly, her heart pounding so loud she was sure everyone could hear it. "Me. I did it because I - I like being with Remus. All right?Everyone catch that at the back or do you needme to say it again?"She looked sharply away from Molly's sympathetic eyes. "So - so I charmed the roster. I've been doing it for a while." She looked hard at Snape. "_Are you happy now? Are you satisfied?_"

Snape was staring at her, a very odd expression on his face. For a moment he looked almost uncertain and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. Then his mouth twisted in the familiar sneer.

"_Tonks._" She heard the hoarse voice from her right but its' owner was the last person she wanted to look at.

"This is all very touching," Snape drawled. "So now you're lying for him as well, are you, Nymphadora?"

"That's enough." Remus' voice was cold. "It's nothing to do with her. Your quarrel's with me and you were quite right in what you said in the first place. Did you hear me? _I said you were right._"

Snape turned round with a gleam of triumph in his face. Tonks was forced to look as well and saw Remus was now only a few paces away from him. The two men locked gazes and she all but held her breath.

Snape laughed. He actually laughed and the sound was so jarring and unexpected that Tonks jumped.

"The thing is," he said scornfully, happily, "the thing is, Lupin, I don't know how you can ever imagine that an illustrious member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black would ever lower herself to get entangled with an unemployed dark creature of dubious ancestry and without a Knut to his name! It's ludicrous! Talk about ideas above your station!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Tonks saw Dung looking askance at Sirius, who'd sat down again and was tilting back his chair, arms folded, one black booted foot casually balanced against the table with a look of high amusement on his face.

Had she missed something?

"No nuts?" Dung asked in his horrendously audible whisper, forehead creased in consternation.

Sirius shook his head.

"Not true," he said. "I shared a dorm with him for seven years."

"Thank Gawd." Dung coughed throatily in approval, and clouds of green smoke from his pipe billowed around him. "I was worried like, for the lass's sake."

Snape's face darkened dangerously again and he sneered.

"Haven't you a Hippogriff to feed, Black? There must be something _useful _you can do for the Order at this hour. Perhaps a bit of cleaning - you must have a duster handy? Or a tea towel?"

Remus took another step forward but, amazingly, Sirius laughed. He threw his head back and showed all his strong yellow teeth; and his long black hair streamed back off his wasted face as well, showing the high, chiselled cheekbones and the man he'd once been. When the girls must have formed a long queue around Hogwarts.

Tonks tensed, her hand on her wand again, but Sirius was still laughing.

"Nowhere to be at all, Snivellus. I'm enjoying this far too much. Especially now Moony owes me a couple of Sickles. Which I'm willingly going to forego for the pleasure of seeing you make an ass of yourself."

An ugly flush suffused Snape's face and his voice was suddenly a soft, malicious whisper. Which, Tonks remembered only too clearly from her days in his Potions Class, meant things were getting rapidly out of control.

"Let's get the Headmaster in here, Black, and see how funny you and Lupin find all this then. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to learn how both of you are jeopardising the stability of the Order by fostering a wholly inappropriate relationship between two of its members. Especially as one of them is too young to properly appreciate when she is being taken advantage of, and comes from a family with a history of mental instability."

Tonks had had more than enough. Mental instability and all.

"If you bothered to wash your hair occasionally and had about ten years in Charm School, you might find out what a relationship is," she started angrily. "As it is, why don't you just go and - "

"I've already said I accept full responsibility for this, Severus."

Remus had moved quickly in front of her and cut her off, a long-fingered hand out-stretched to keep her behind him. A gesture which was, all at once, the most infuriating thing she'd ever seen.

_Great gentlemanly prat. _

She tried to push past him but his arm was like an iron bar. Apparently he was a lot more solid than he frequently looked. Terrific. Now she was stuck behind the idiot, unless she indulged in an undignified shoving match. Although why the hell was she worrying about dignity at this late stage in proceedings?

"Let's get the headmaster." Snape's eyes gleamed.

"You really want to bother him about something as trivial as this?" Remus spoke calmly but with a noticeable effort.

"I rather doubt that Dumbledore will consider this matter _trivial, _Lupin."

"What matter would that be exactly, Severus?"

A pleasant voice interrupted them politely. Tonks turned to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway, flanked on either side by a worried-looking Arthur and an impassive Kingsley.

She wondered how he'd opened the creaky door so silently.

"Ah, just the person." Snape turned his back on Remus and her, and walked confidently towards Dumbledore. "We've been having an interesting little discussion about Order security and stability in your absence, and it appears Lupin, aided and abetted by Black, has been abusing his position of trust. _Once again_, I might add."

"Really?" Dumbledore looked at Remus over his half moon glasses and then back to Snape. "I find that extraordinarily difficult to believe."

Tonks tried to get round Remus again, and again his arm held her back.

"_Get out of my way, you prat!"_ she hissed in his ear. _"This is my fight!"_

"_Wait!"_ he whispered fiercely back. "_Trust me."_

I'm going to hex you too in a minute, mate, she thought, furiously. But she did pause fractionally because of "_Trust me,"_ which he'd never said to her before, and while she was hesitating Snape spoke again.

"The proof," he said loudly, confidently, "is in tonight's duty roster. It's come to my attention that on repeated occasions of late Lupin has paired himself with Nymphadora - "

"They do work well together," Dumbledore interrupted gently. "To my mind it makes a deal of sense if people who do so are paired together. Mad-Eye and Kingsley are also - "

"Not five times since Christmas!" snapped Snape. "And the duty tonight, which was originally for myself and Nymphadora, underwent an _amazing_ last minute change. Imagine my surprise when an owl arrived telling me my services were no longer required."

"Ah." Dumbledore took off his glasses thoughtfully and looked almost absently across at Remus with her stood next to him. He took a large orange handkerchief out of his pocket and began to polish the glasses.

"_Headmaster?_"

"Hmm?" Dumbledore looked up. "I'm sorry, I was imagining your surprise. Do go on."

"Clearly," said Snape, sounding as if he were speaking between clenched teeth, "Lupin has behaved in an unprofessional manner and should be severely reprimanded. Responsibility for the roster should be taken away from him forthwith. As he has been absent today, however, it seems obvious only one other person could have done the roster." He drew himself up, triumphantly. "And that person is - "

"Me," said Dumbledore, tucking the handkerchief neatly back into his pocket and holding his glasses up to the light to check them.

He smiled, pleasantly, round the side of them.

"Quite right, Severus."

Snape made a noise. As though he'd been about to speak and a hand had suddenly cut the air off from his windpipe. Tonks thought she could quite easily make the same strangled sound herself. Next to her, the sharp edge of Remus' shoulders relaxed slightly.

"Y-_you?"_ Snape stumbled over the word.

"Yes, indeed." Dumbledore put his glasses back on and peered over them at Snape. "I'm afraid I'm not as proficient at it as Remus so I do apologise for any confusion, Severus."

Tonks was sure she could see Snape's nostrils quivering. His eyes were dark with suspicion.

"Perhaps you could, ah, clarify this for me Headmaster? _You_ did the duty roster in Lupin's absence?"

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows questioningly. "I believe I've already answered this, Severus."

"Yes, but - "

Dumbledore sighed, heavily. "I really need to be getting back and so do you, I imagine." He saw Snape open his mouth again and held a hand up. "As this seems so important to you, I can assure you that I did the roster in Remus' absence today. I did the pairings for the patrols. Obviously there seems to have been some sort of misunderstanding?"

There was silence. Tonks could see Sirius smirking and Dung chewing on the end of his pipe with relish, glancing from face to face like an observer at a Muggle tennis match. The green smoke had thickened the air around them all and made her eyes itch. Snape was staring hard at Remus, his face contorted with fury, the red patches in his cheeks burning brightly. His black eyes…_glittered._

She moved quietly in front of Remus, whose arm was back by his side.

Snape's gaze bore into her.

"_Do you really think this is going to end well for you?"_ His voice was thick with malice, and then he swept out the room, brushing past Dumbledore as he went, the black cloak billowing behind him like some tumultuous thunder cloud.

They listened to his boots hitting the stairs and then receding down the hallway. The front door slammed with ferocious force. A log shifted suddenly in the fire behind them as though feeling the vibration, and a shower of sparks shot through the air, landing on the threadbare carpet.

In the distance, Mrs Black's portrait began to scream.

Dumbledore smiled. Apparently unperturbed. "Well I'll wish you all a very pleasant good night, and I'll have a word with Mrs Black as I go and wish her the same. Dear me, I've forgotten to say something to Severus. Still the speed he was moving I expect he's back at Hogwarts already so I'll catch him up there. Remus, Nymphadora - " he gave them both a measured look over his glasses with eyes that seemed faintly amused and yet very serious "- you will take care tonight. I'll look forward to your report in the morning_."_

He turned on his heel and was gone too.

No one looked at any one else for a long moment. No one broke the silence even when Mrs Black abruptly quietened. Then Hestia gave a sudden, nervous giggle, Dung let out a loud belch of appreciation and Sirius threw back his head and collapsed in laughter across the table. All Dung's cards went flying again and several Hellcats fell off their broomsticks, screaming abuse and losing articles of clothing they could ill-afford to in the process. Sirius howled even more. Molly and Kingsley were smiling, Arthur looked relieved and even Moody gave a guffaw of amusement.

Remus wasn't laughing. The face he turned to her had the shutters firmly down. He didn't meet her eyes.

"We need to talk," he said, quietly.

_Oh shit, _she thought.

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**Reviews are very much appreciated. As are appalling Knut jokes like mine. **:)


	2. Chapter 2

**Cards on the Table.**

**Chapter 2: Advice From Those In The Know**

Tonks didn't get chance to say anything to Remus. Part of her wanted an empty room so they could thrash it out at once; the other part wanted to hug the people who immediately surrounded them. He'd actually met her eyes for a brief, stomach-churning moment; but before she had time to work out if the expression in them was good, bad or indifferent, Moody had put a firm hand on his arm and taken him aside. She must remember to thank Moody for what he'd said – Molly as well – and pin her ears back for the inevitable lecture on not mixing personal matters with professional ones.

Perhaps she could joke she'd got confused and was practising _constant vigour _by mistake.

But he'd be right. It was unprofessional. Unwise. _Unlikely._

And absolutely bloody stupid when you got caught out.

She watched numbly as Dung weaved a slightly unsteady path up behind Remus and Moody, fumbling in the apparently bottomless pockets of his baggy trousers, and finding what he wanted around knee level. He draped a friendly arm around Remus's shoulders, making him jump, and appeared to offer him what looked like a somewhat bent…cigar.

Moody's magical eye was focused on the ceiling. It had either got stuck again or he just didn't want to look. Remus stared in a somewhat perplexed manner at the cigar, and Dung took advantage of this momentary lapse in concentration to embrace him round the waist.

The congratulatory shake and affectionate squeeze that followed was surely a _very_ bad idea.

Tonks craned forward to try and catch some of what was being said. By Dung. The other two seemed to be rooted to the spot.

"…best o'luck to ye, mate…bit too feisty for me…takes all sorts, eh...always fancy a bit of a smoke meself, afterwards…" He frowned and regarded Remus with an air of bleary-eyed concern. "'Ope ye got some stamina…no offence like...bit pasty lookin'…best quality 'Avana…got 'em cheap off me pal…do ye a good deal on gym stuff an' weights if you're – _Ow!"_

Tonks thought the look in the blue eyes would probably stop a charging giant dead in its tracks. Dung stepped hurriedly back, rubbing his arm indignantly, the cigar still clutched in his grubby hand. He hesitated a moment before deciding that while his selfless act was being cruelly unappreciated, it was definitely time to go. And quickly. He passed by a laughing Sirius, who twitched the cigar from the apparently nerveless fingers, and pocketed it for himself with a wink of thanks and a pat on top of Dung's head.

Dung's indignant journey to the door took him right by Tonks. He seemed to recognise her at the very last minute.

"Y'know that boyfriend o'yours is right touchy," he said, in injured tones. "Try and do 'im a favour and all I says is –"

"Dung," said Tonks, quietly. "Do you know what happened to the last person who annoyed me?"

"Eh?" He gazed at her from under the tangled mat of ginger hair. "I dunno, do I?"

"_Exactly." _Tonks smiled pleasantly and waited for it to sink in.

It took a while; it also took a muttered, _"…bet she gives 'im 'ell, serve 'im right,"_ which for some reason he seemed to think she couldn't hear but, with a final disgruntled belch and hard-done-by look, Dung took himself off.

Tonks switched her attention back to Remus and Moody.

Sirius had joined them now and she caught him saying something jovial to Remus about cards and tables. At least he'd stopped loudly offering to sell tickets to the next Order meeting, which had been getting right on her nerves. Remus said something brief and obviously pointed to Sirius, who laughed, slapped him on the back and went over to Kingsley and Arthur. There was no peace though; Moody, despite fiddling madly with his eye, was managing to issue instructions at the same time, presumably about the forthcoming duty. Remus nodded calmly, but she thought the tight jaw spoke volumes.

_Merlin, what were they going to say to each other on duty if this didn't get sorted?_

She became aware someone was stood just behind her, patiently waiting for her attention. Someone who had glowing pink cheeks and a smug little smile on their face.

Clearly some people were having a cracking evening.

"You and Remus then," said Hestia, and giggled in a way Tonks thought shouldn't be allowed unless you were fifteen and had a death wish.

"You kept that quiet! I didn't know you cared. Does he care?"

"Well there's a good chance that after tonight we'll both end up _in care_ together," said Tonks, sourly, which produced further giggles; and she decided to head straight for the upstairs loo at that point because she'd really had enough. Besides she could see Molly hovering anxiously in the background, waiting her turn. And then presumably Remus would want his.

She needed a break. Preferably two weeks in Hawaii.

As a large, wet dog had seemingly ignored a few basic rules of hygiene in the loo, Tonks spent at least ten minutes tidying it up. Thank Merlin Molly hadn't found it like that or there would have been more uproar. The kitchen was quiet and deserted when she got back, apart from a couple of sleepy owls swaying gently on frying pans hanging from the ceiling. A trace of sickly green smoke still hung in the air. She faced the fact that she'd been, in effect, _hiding_, and it appalled her more than anything else that had gone on.

She didn't do things like that. It wasn't her.

It was this thought which made her go down on her knees in front of the dark cupboard underneath the sink, and ignore the prospect of spiders to whom it was home. Sirius kept his 'Last Resort' bottle of Firewhisky in there; handily ready for both the end of the world and if he wanted something to hit Kreacher on the head with as a farewell gesture.

Just as her hand closed round it, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She straightened up hurriedly, whacked her head hard in the process, and just made it to the seat nearest the table as the door flew open and Molly stomped in. The owls awoke with loud protests.

"Oh, there you are, dear." Molly gave her a distracted look and made straight for the sink. "Remind me to give you that recipe for greengage jam later I told you about. I brought it with me specially."

"Er - okay." Tonks tried – and failed – to imagine making greengage jam at the best of times, let alone now, and watched in dull amazement as Molly dropped to her knees and began chucking the contents of the cupboard out.

"Er –" she began again, because surely Molly couldn't be looking for the same thing she had. Only the three of them knew it was there for a start.

That theory was somewhat disproved when Molly stood up with the bottle in her hand.

"I know." Molly put the bottle and two goblets down on the table. "But I need a drop. And I'm sure you do too. Did you hear what that awful man said about Arthur?"

Tonks cast her mind back to try and narrow down the insult Molly was referring to. There'd been so many. She herself was still getting over about twenty at the last count.

"I'm so sorry you got mixed up in all this, Molly," she said feelingly. "And I'm very grateful for what you said. And – no I can't drink all that, I'm on duty. In fact I don't ever drink at all when on duty so –" she pushed the goblet back towards the older woman who was regarding her anxiously "- thanks but I won't." She sighed. "I could really do with one though."

Molly sighed as well. "That wretched man. How he loves to cause trouble. Did you see Remus's face? I couldn't tell how he was feeling, could you?"

Tonks pondered how to answer this one, based on the fact that Remus had recently treated Dung to a Stinging Hex and presumably Sirius to a stinging suggestion. He'd probably been warming up for her.

'Not thrilled,' she said.

'Oh dear.' Molly took a large gulp of whisky, which she choked over slightly and which must have gone straight to her head. Or her brain.

'These things are never straight-forward,' she said. 'But you'll both look back on this and laugh about it one day. Arthur and I – well the tales I could tell you. But before you know it, you're married and the first one is on the way.' She paused. 'Have you thought about children?'

'Not in the last two hours.' Tonks tried hard to keep any hint of sarcasm out of her voice.

Molly looked at her sympathetically. "Perhaps it's all for the best it came out in the open," she said, unconvincingly. "And didn't you say you were going to try and push things a little to see how he felt?"

"I was thinking more in the way of seeing if he wanted to spend time together that wasn't Order business." Tonks smiled bitterly. "Not, 'Hi Remus, I've been charming the roster and behaving like an absolute idiot, and actually what Dung said about your knickers and my interest in them does have some degree of accuracy to it.'"

She stopped seeing Molly's cheeks redden. _Brilliant._ Now she was embarrassing the woman who'd been so kind to her.

"Molly, I'm sorry –" she started again.

"_You _haven't done anything wrong, dear." Molly looked at her firmly. "I should imagine it would do Remus a lot of good to hear some of those things."

Tonks felt her eyebrows disappearing in disbelief towards her hairline.

"You think?" she said, unable to keep the irony out of her voice this time, and it appeared Molly did only too well because an awkward silence fell between them. And neither of them could quite work out how to fill it.

Molly fiddled with the stem of her goblet; Tonks plonked her foot on her knee and adjusted the strap round her left ankle boot. Her favourite pair, she loved the silver buckles on the sides and the matching studs embedded round the black heels. She'd made more arrests in these than any of her others.

"You were right about the brown," said Molly, suddenly.

"Sorry?" Tonks took her gaze away from the lovely pointed toes she should have kicked Snape with.

"His jumper. It does look nice." Molly was still twirling the goblet round. "I know you like the cerise one –"

_Actually it clashes with every hair colour I can think of._

"_- _though you haven't worn it for a bit –"

_Oh, bugger, she's noticed._

"- but sometimes I wish I'd done you one to match."

_His and her jumpers_? _She's not bloody serious!_

Merlin, if getting together with Remus involved looking forward to this sort of thing, she was tempted to sign up for the Witch Nunnery right now.

From the rumours she'd heard, they seemed to have a good time there anyway. They were bang next door to the Druid's Association, who had a reputation they seemed to relish living down to. There'd been frequent complaints about all night raves at both establishments.

The door was flung open without warning and they both jumped slightly as Sirius strode in. The owls, who'd been dropping off again, made their displeasure loudly known.

"Ah! Ladies!" He glanced up at the owls. "Shut it you mangy idiots!"

He walked purposefully towards the sink, and Tonks watched with a slightly hysterical sense of inevitability as he too started to rummage through the cupboard.

"_Where the blee -?"_

"It's here, Sirius." Molly gestured at the bottle on the table.

"Oh." Sirius looked slightly taken aback, but rallied quickly and topped up the goblet offered to Tonks. He sat down next to Molly, leaving a significant gap between them, and mouthed: "_Did you give her my Last Resort Whisky?"_

Tonks shook her head. Molly, without looking at him, folded her arms and said matter-of-factly: "Men always hide these things in the obvious place. Now, Sirius, we need to know how you think Remus will take what's gone on?"

Sirius, with an expression that made Tonks want to laugh, because it involved copious eye-rolling and clearly meant: "_Poor bloody Arthur," _shook his long hair away from his face and looked at her.

"I wouldn't worry too much, Tonks," he said, carelessly. "Moony's got a very forgiving nature. He'll say the right thing to make you feel better."

"Which," said Tonks, through a tightly clenched jaw, "is exactly what I _don't_ want him to do."

"But surely –" Molly started, and Tonks ceased to listen because what she wanted was a totally honest, one-to-one, no-fear-of-being-interrupted conversation. It had never been possible in a house like a railway station. If nothing else, tonight had ensured that certain things were going to have to be faced and dealt with.

The snag was, could they both deal with it and still work together?

"Don't get so wound up about it," said Sirius with a shrug of his shoulders. "Moony only got really narked when Snape had a go at you. He was laughing his head off up till then. Besides, it's the best night I've had for ages."

Whether it was his tone, or his last words which implied everyone's feelings could get shredded in public as long as he could watch, Tonks didn't know. Most probably it was her own guilt rising to the surface which made her voice low and angry.

"As long as you're entertained everything's fine then?"

"Oh, come on Tonks! Where's your sense of humour?"

"It seems to have left the building with Snape. Still as long as you've got yours, never mind about the rest of us."

He looked at her sharply, his eyes narrowed. They frequently bickered because of his wild, illogical switches of reasoning, and he had a knack of rubbing her up the wrong way; but he made her laugh just as often, as well as occasionally pity him. This time she knew she was the one not being fair. And now she'd given him every right to take his ever-present frustrations out on her.

"You did well with Snape," she said quickly, before he could speak. "Better than me, at any rate."

The grey eyes were still hard, and she thought for a moment they were set for an argument (which she quite fancied right now) but Sirius, unpredictable as always, chose instead to exhibit the undeniably charming side of his nature without any ill feeling at all.

"Ah, well." He grinned. "I've been having the Moony Prefect Lecture ever since my last encounter with Snivellus."

Tonks raised an eyebrow.

"You know. 'If you lose your temper you lose your judgement; if you lose your judgement then you haven't got a hope in hell.' It all sounded very sensible so I didn't take much notice until he came up with the clincher – Snivellus will take it out on Harry."

Molly said hurriedly: "You mustn't let him do that!" and Sirius – amazingly – nodded in agreement back at her. Tonks watching them through hazy eyes thought the whole evening was getting more bizarre by the moment.

"Plus Moony told me it's character building to be the mature one. Of course, I've already got a lot of character so I didn't see what he was getting at there." Sirius grinned again and raised his goblet in mock salute to Tonks.

"Olivia Purves," he said abruptly.

She gaped at him.

"What?" said Molly impatiently.

"Tonks knows." Sirius took another deep gulp of whisky. "Don't you?"

"Well I don't. One of you will have to explain." There was a slight edge to Molly's voice.

Sirius did indeed start to explain – and thankfully didn't give much away in his explanation. She herself was lost in recollection of a night before Christmas when the three of them had loosened their tongues with wine. And Muggle lager. Plus the odd glass of gin. (She'd planned ahead and brought a selection). Conversation had been rather neatly steered round to romantic disasters. Sirius considered his worst was the blonde who'd fallen off his motorcycle when riding pillion, and scratched it with her thigh-length boots. Tonks, who was desperate to hear about Remus's, thought it only fair that if she wanted him to spill his guts, then she should go first. It was a test really; to see if he was prepared to take their easy-going, slightly flirty conversations further.

To see if she was prepared to do it, too.

Sirius having appeared to nod off in his chair (she was _never _falling for that one again); she'd swallowed hard and spoken of the less fun side of being a Metamorphmagus. The weird ones who wanted you to change for them and were just really sad; and the sad ones who didn't have the guts to ask you to change and were just plain weird. By the time you'd sorted out which was which and sent them all packing, you were left trying hard not to be as cynical as hell.

That brought her to the memory of one Shane Stepper, who was perfectly charming and decidedly hot. Right up until the moment he handed her a list of his ten favourite Muggle film stars and told her she could pick one a night to change into for him. And though she laughed carelessly and said she hoped he still had the green boils on a certain part of his anatomy; she knew her stupid face would show all the well-remembered mortification, and Remus listened without saying a word.

"And you?" she'd said, at last.

Apparently the werewolf thing always had repercussions as she suspected it might. For a moment she thought he was going to leave it at that, but then he told her of two girls at Hogwarts – she couldn't remember the name of the first – both of whom things had obviously been fairly serious with. The first one had literally run away screaming when he broke the news to her.

"Impressive turn of speed she'd got," Remus said with a wry smile. "And when she did stand still again, she cried every time she saw me. James and Sirius told everyone she had an allergic reaction to my deodorant."

Tonks joked about his prowess with crying women obviously being down to years of practice; and he'd laughed and it had all been very light and easy between them.

But then followed the tale of Olivia Purves. They'd dated in his seventh year. She'd taken the news remarkably well when he finally broke it to her. Amazingly she hadn't been scared at all; quite the contrary. A fact which was proved in no uncertain terms when she turned up for their next date draped in a long red cloak, not much else, and begged him to chase her through the woods. While pretending to be a wolf.

Tonks remembered the silence and the blue eyes gazing thoughtfully into the fire, while she'd thought how much she'd like to feed Ms Purves to a passing Hungarian Horntail. Except she might be turned on by that too.

"And," said Sirius's voice, breaking into her thoughts and bringing her abruptly back to the present, "Tonks said exactly the right thing. She made _him_ feel better. Bit of a novelty for him, that."

Had she? All she knew was that was the evening she was sure something had changed between them. Something subtle. He'd stood closer to her when they were together, she caught him looking at her sometimes, and he seemed to actively seek out her company. But that wasn't much to go on really without a huge helping of Molly's optimism and a large dollop of her own wishful thinking.

"So hard sometimes," said Molly, seemingly to herself, "to remember Remus _is _a werewolf. Not like that man who was in hospital with Arthur. It frightened me, him being on the same ward."

Tonks ignored her for fear of saying yet another thing she'd regret that night and looked at Sirius. "Has he ever said anything about me?"

He shook his head. "Not a thing."

"It doesn't look good then, does it?"

"On the contrary." Sirius lent back in his chair and stretched his long legs out languidly. Molly shot a look of disapproval at the black leather trousers, which Tonks thought were great apart from the fact they emphasised his thinness.

"I'm working on the theory that some things haven't changed around here. It was always the ones he said least about that he was most interested in. I've made lots of probing remarks about you and I can't make him bite. Plus you've apparently been charming the roster under his very nose and he always admires a clever witch. So –" he made a gesture with his hands, which fortunately Molly missed, and grinned, "- what's there to worry about? Get in there!"

Molly broke in eagerly: "And I told you about the day he watched you in the kitchen."

Only about a hundred times. Tonks smiled at her but it was an effort. A jazzy and appalling Celestina Warbeck number (it was one of those so-called classics _'Total Eclipse Of My Wand' _or _'Holding Out For A Warlock'_), had been blaring from the wireless and she and Hestia, who'd been clearing up in the kitchen, had decided to dance. Taking the mick really, which hopefully Molly would never realise. Merlin, she'd really let rip, ending up on the chair at one point and then on the table. Worse still, it had all come to an abrupt end, when to the echo of the immortal line, '_It's going to take a real wizard to sweep me off my feet,' _she'd fallen _off_ the table…

"He stood and watched you from the hall. For ages," said Molly, eyes shining happily.

"He could have been watching Hestia," Tonks said, shortly. "You don't _know_, Molly. Besides I'm embarrassing when I dance."

Molly made to speak again and she interrupted. "Look, I know you both mean well, but it doesn't change what went on tonight. Do you really think Remus, of all people, would like to have some girl stand up in front of a room full of friends and colleagues and more or less confess her devotion for him? Any normal bloke would want to dig a hole and crawl into it."

Sirius looked thoughtful, chewing on his lower lip. "I dare say most wouldn't be too thrilled." He bared his top yellow teeth. "But Moony? Well we're not talking normal, are we! People don't normally publicly proclaim anything for him, unless it's contempt or a law to make his life shit. Must be a great ego boost."

Tonks pulled a face. "You're thinking of this from your own point of view, aren't you? You'd have lapped it up!"

"Too true. I used to love Valentine's Day at Hogwarts." Sirius smiled, rather bitterly. "Wasn't quite the same in Azkaban. Anyway it doesn't matter, Tonks. Just say you're sorry and sort it out. You can't keep on messing around. Put your cards on the table."

_So that was it._ "You said that to Remus."

"So I did. Hopefully one of you two pesky kids will listen."

"It's going to be all right, dear." Molly took a deep gulp of whisky as though to reassure herself.

"Yeah." Tonks looked at them both; the incurable romantic and the least romantic person she knew. It was nice to think they cared, but she wasn't sure they'd helped. It was down to her to find the right words again, like when she'd told him Olivia Purves was a silly cow. And it would have been much more fun to be chased by him. Remus. Then she'd gone bright red while his eyes had widened, and suddenly they were laughing together. Sticking two fingers up at every Shane and Olivia in the world. That was the moment, more than any other, that made her sure there was…_something._ Some bond she'd never felt with anyone else.

Now she'd blown all that in one evening.

Suddenly her one desire was to be alone and she stood up abruptly, scraping her chair back. They both looked at her in surprise.

"Tell Remus I'll be upstairs if he wants to see me," she said, and left them sat together in an odd kind of harmony she never thought she'd see.

How strange that it should be this, of all things, which gave them common ground.

She caught the door, just as it was closing, as she heard Molly say anxiously: "So it'll be all right if you think he likes her?"

The clink of a bottle meeting a goblet was clearly audible.

"That's not really the sixty-four thousand Knut question," said Sirius slowly. "He may indeed like her, but I don't know if he'll take risks any more. Or let others take them for him. Umbridge and her kind have seen to that."

She let the door shut very gently. Remus always said it was a mistake to underestimate Sirius.

She made her way slowly upstairs to the library, avoiding the hole in the carpet she normally caught her foot in, and tried to think of something trivial. That recipe for making greengage jam which Molly was determined to give her would do. Hopefully it would be easy to follow. What exactly were greengages anyway? _Could anything ever better raspberry?_ These were all important questions to dwell on.

The solid oak door revealed shadowed darkness inside, the embers of a fire burning low in the grate, and she slumped down on the floor in front of it with her back to the long sofa. She laid her heavy head against the shiny and stained material which had once been red velvet, and wished she'd wrestled the Firewhisky bottle off the pair of them and brought it up it with her. Her need was surely the greater.

The library was one of the few rooms at Grimmauld where she felt she could willingly spend some time. The walls were lichen-green and it was filled with over-large, dark furniture, but the atmosphere was musty and stale rather than menacing. Heavy, ancient books lined three of the four walls from ceiling to floor; the kind you felt it would be a breach of protocol to touch unless you were wearing a full set of dress robes. Sirius said his parents hadn't been great readers, that the books were for grandiose display purposes only, and he himself rarely set foot in here. But Remus did.

_Remus. _

Only last week they'd sat here drinking spiced wine and he'd shelled chestnuts in the old-fashioned Muggle way while she'd watched him; and they'd laughed and laughed over nothing she could remember at all. And she thought she'd never imagined having a friendship like this, with a man like this. Why hadn't she been content with that? Why had she pushed things? Why had she turned her world back to cinders with her own meddling hands?

The floorboards on the landing creaked loudly. The thought of Remus being kind was well-nigh bloody unbearable. But she had to face him and apologise.

"Tonks?" The door opened slowly. "Are you in here?"

A soft, crackling noise took her by surprise before she'd formulated a reply. A shimmering glow lit the ceiling with a golden, burnished halo and split the shadows at her feet into alternate beams of dark and light. She peered over the side of the sofa arm. He was holding a handful of flickering crimson flame in the palm of his hand and looking right at her.

"That's flash," she said without thinking. "Showing off again, are we?"

"I had it ready earlier in case I had to set Severus's hair on fire."

He came round in front of her and his face was lit by the shivering light; the hair turned to muted copper, the blue eyes pin-pointed scarlet.

_Danger signs all the way._

He looked at her steadily for a few more seconds without expression and then closed his hand, plunging the room into darkness once more. A few whispered words were followed by a breeze that was more of a sigh, and the gas lamps on the walls sputtered into light, and the fire crackled and leapt with sudden vigour.

She braced herself. Anger or kindness, which would be worse?

"We have to talk, Tonks," said Remus as he sat down on the sofa to the right of her.

"Yeah, I suppose we do." Tonks stared into the fire dully and wondered where to start._ That was a real laugh downstairs, wasn't it? Hope you didn't take any of it too seriously! Sorry about the embarrassment and total humiliation thing. Is this the last conversation we'll ever have as friends? Do you hate my guts?_

She'd finally got her longed-for private conversation and didn't have a clue what to say.

"We've got just over an hour till duty time," said Remus quietly. "It sounds fairly straight-forward. We Apparate there and the suspect will be outside The Dissolution Inn at eleven-thirty. We follow him to -"

"_What?" _Tonks turned her head and blinked at him, her brain struggling to catch up.

"The Dissolution Inn," said Remus. "At –"

"_Eleven bloody thirty_," said Tonks. "Yeah, I got that bit, thanks. I was just wondering if you were planning to address recent events at any point during my lifetime?"

They stared at each other.

"I'm not sure it wouldn't be better to sleep on the whole thing," said Remus after a pause. "We can probably laugh about it in the morning and put it behind us."

"Snape being such a joker and all," said Tonks bitterly.

"Well, I wouldn't go quite that far but –"

"You just won't say anything bad about him at all, will you?"

His lips twitched slightly. "I've never criticised an Order member yet, and I'm not going to make an exception for that prat."

She was _not _going to laugh. The bond was there again between them, tugging at her. "Are you trying to make it easier for me or for you?"

"What?"

"Avoiding the issue. Pretending it didn't happen."

Remus was looking down at his clasped hands.

"Don't you think it might be better that way?"

Tonks swallowed. "No, because I need to apologise and you need to hear it."

"That's the last thing you need to do," he said, very softly. "Please don't."

"Tough." She couldn't bear him being _kind._ She wanted him to throw something at her. To call her names. To lose his temper. She wanted the man she couldn't wait to see every single day back, not this polite stranger who wouldn't quite meet her eyes.

And she was going to damn well fight to get him.

"I am sorry," she said clearly, staring at his averted head, "for what happened and the position I put you in. I am sorry I have been charming the roster for at least the last month and a bit to get duties with you. I am _incredibly _sorry that Snape, of all people, cottoned on to this. The laugh is I get caught the one time I didn't actually do anything. But I don't regret in the slightest the time we spent together because I enjoyed every single minute and I will _not _apologise for that." She stopped and took a deep breath. "So there you have it."

Remus was on his feet, almost before she'd said the last words. He moved towards the fire, his hands in his pockets as he stared into the flames.

Tonks knew she had to finish it. One way or another.

"The truth would be a good thing now, Remus. Honesty. Friends are honest with each other, aren't they? So tell me how you feel about the night's revelations? I need to know."

He turned his head slightly in the direction of her voice. "You're asking a lot, Tonks. You might not like it."

"I need to know." She repeated it firmly and clamped down on the quaking inside. _I need to know the worst. _

Remus pushed his hair out of his eyes and straightened up. She wondered for the millionth time why his lean figure with hair more grey than brown and that lined, intelligent face should turn her heart over.

"Severus was right," he said, and looked briefly at her before taking four steps past her, turning on his heel, and taking four back. "About everything."

She stared at him as he moved. Back and forth. Head down. Remus Lupin…_agitated?_

"I don't see –" she started and he cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"The roster is my responsibility, Tonks. Mine. I wrote it and I put protection spells on it. I helped write the Marauder's Map and people don't break into things if I don't want them to. You could have charmed it until your wand arm dropped off and it wouldn't have made any difference. The roster only accepts the names I want."

He was still pacing. Still looking at the holes in the carpet.

"But – my name? I was always with you?"

"Yes."

"But Dumbledore said –"

"Dumbledore rescued us. Like our friends tried to. He didn't lie; he just answered the question Severus asked him. He did do the roster in my absence. He did the original pairings. And I came back late this afternoon and changed Severus's name for my own. So you see it is I who should apologise. It is I who put _you_ in an embarrassing position. It is I who am responsible for all that went on downstairs, not you."

Tonks felt her brain struggling to absorb this.

"Dumbledore put Snape with me?" _Thanks a bunch_.

"I wasn't expected back till late tonight. And he's always keen to integrate Severus with the rest of the Order, isn't he? But I, er…_came back early_."

His voice trailed away.

"You did that because…" She stopped. Her heart was ahead of her brain.

_Her heart was racing. _

He stopped as well and met her eyes. There was a brief glimpse of a smile, but he was very grave. "I don't regret a single second of the time I spent with you either, Tonks. I'll also happily let Severus Snape have a go at me any day if it means you'll stand up and say what you did. But this really shouldn't happen between us, however much I'd like it to."

She could feel the huge grin spread across her face.

"Tonks. You're not listening_. This isn't a good idea._"

"I know." She smiled happily. "You're worried in case I get to find out you're a snorer, aren't you?"

"No, it's that you look like a blanket-hogger to me." He shook his head, seemingly in exasperation at himself. It made his hair fall forward into his eyes and he pushed it back impatiently with one of his long-fingered hands.

"Look, let's just –"

She scrambled inelegantly to get to her feet. To go to him. To put her arms around him and take away what the past had done to him, and show him what the future could be.

Remus had his hand in front of him like a Muggle policeman stopping traffic. Warding her off.

"Tonks, I don't do casual," he said, very softly. "I – can't"

She stopped dead.

**A/N: Many thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. Reviews for this one would be much appreciated too, especially if anyone knows some good patterns for his and her jumpers. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Cards on the Table**

**Chapter 3: Lost**

The skeleton clock on the mantelpiece announced the half hour by banging its ribs together. The miniature wooden witch that lived inside stuck various fingers and a long warty nose out from an eye socket to confirm the fact. It was ten-thirty, they had only an hour left before they were on duty together, and Tonks felt as if she was reeling. Again.

"_Tonks, I don't do casual. I – can't."_

Surely he couldn't mean what that sounded like? Surely he couldn't think -?

Apparently he did.

"I don't do bloody _casual_ either, mate," she said, and she could hear the edge in her voice. From the way his head came up sharply to look at her, he did as well.

God, what impression had he been getting of her all these months? Did he think all this was because she just wanted a quick shag in the hall cupboard? Had he _seen _the hall cupboard recently? That murderous old ghoul which she'd helped the kids get rid of ages ago had used it as a holiday home, and it was always freezing cold and full of huge, sticky cobwebs. Kreacher was frequently found there as well, which was another compelling reason why no one else on earth would ever want to be.

Obviously she'd been kidding herself when she thought Remus had accepted her exactly as she was from the moment they met, and totally delusional to hope that he might even have admired her. Gentlemanly Remus must have been secretly appalled all along.

Her mind cast furiously around for an example of how and when this could have occurred, and promptly came up with the most ludicrous it could find.

"Is this because of New Year? When I had my hair in rainbow stripes and those long boots on? It was the leather shorts, wasn't it?"

"What?" He looked at her in what seemed like complete bewilderment.

"Because if you remember it was fancy dress and I was _supposed_ to be a pirate queen with superb sword skills and dubious morals! And everyone was slightly drunk! I mean, I didn't really think you were a Greek philosopher, any more than I thought Emmeline was an Ancient Egyptian slave girl or Sirius was a Roman Cardinal! Or was I just being stupid?"

The frown lines on his forehead had deepened. "I have to say, I thought Emmeline was surprisingly convincing, and as for Mad-Eye in that Viking outfit -"

"Why you smug-faced -"

"Tonks, I think you're getting the wrong end of the stick here."

"Aren't I just? Probably over-sensitive for some reason."

"I didn't mean -"

"Could it be because I've had such a fun-packed evening?" She overrode him loudly. "I've been hung out to dry in front of the entire Order, all to save your neck!"

"I haven't had such a great time myself, actually."

"Plus everyone now knows what I've done and what an idiot I've made of myself. Whereas you're still Dumbledore's blue-eyed boy around here! With his halo shining brightly!"

He moved a step closer, his mouth tightening into a thin line. Some part of her, the detached part that remembered it was trained to see these things; noted clinically how that one had hit home and filed it away for future reference. Some time later she would think about the fact that Dumbledore always protected Remus, that downstairs one glance had told him exactly what had happened with the roster, and that he'd bailed him out without hesitation.

_And that Remus had known he would._

But that was for some time later, and right now Remus was under the slight misapprehension she was only after him for one thing. Apart from anything else, wasn't that what the girl usually accused the bloke of?

"I really _don't _think you've gone through what I have tonight," she said, acidly. "In fact, I don't think you've got the slightest idea what's been going on while you've been swanning around getting sympathy off everybody."

His eyes seemed to have taken on a steel grey look. "Well whilst busy swanning, I've had Moody turn into some kind of scary Victorian step-father on me, Arthur give me the sort of advice he should be addressing to his eldest son, which completely embarrassed us both, and Dung -" He paused. "Dung appears to have spent the entire night wondering if I've got two Knuts to rub together, and how many double entendres he can get into that one sentence. It certainly wasn't the way I envisaged the meeting going when it started."

"Oh, poor little you!" Tonks glared at him. "If it wasn't for me, we'd both be wearing his and her jumpers! And yours would be aubergine!"

"Look," he held his hands out placatingly, a gesture which served only to annoy her even more. "This wasn't my plan. I just wanted to -" He broke off suddenly, a look of consternation on his face. _"His and her jumpers?"_

"You had a plan?" Tonks looked at him in disbelief. "What – you planned this entire conversation? How's that go then? Tell the girl you're the one who's been manipulating things so they're together? Then get cold feet and tell her you're awfully sorry, but you don't do _bloody casual_?" She drew a deep breath. "God, you've got a nerve. I haven't been out with anyone for nearly a year. My last serious boyfriend was ages ago, and before that wouldn't make the gossip column of the Daily Prophet. So you can bugger right off your moral high ground with me!"

"It's got nothing to do with that. I wanted to make sure you know what you're getting into." He was starting to look distinctly annoyed himself now, which pleased her no end. "And if we're doing true confessions, it's a fair old while since I went out with anyone, and having anything to do with me at all will mean you _do_ run the risk of ending up in the gossip columns. None of this is simple, least of all whatever is between us."

Her brain dimly registered that somewhere in all that he'd said something which was really important to her too, but she was too far gone down her line of infuriated thought to take it in.

And he'd hurt her.

"I suppose you think I'm too young for you," she almost spat, because she no longer cared how wild her sarcasm was as long as it got under his skin, and she hurt him too. "With an unfeminine, unpopular job everyone thinks is vastly over-paid. And I'm a member of the mostly evil and mentally unstable Black Family. So doubtless you're terrified of me too." She broke off sharply as she saw his mouth twitch.

_Was the bastard laughing at her?_

"Oh, Tonks," he said, and she could see the glint in his eye and the curl of his lip. He was holding back a laugh, like he had downstairs when she'd been going crackers worrying about him."If you only knew what I'm thinking."

Suddenly she had no intention of sticking around to find out.

She went to move past him, trying to control her rage and her grief; both of which threatened to choke her, looking at the floor, at her feet. Her ridiculous, clumsy feet which always let her down, and why the hell had she ever thought for a moment that someone like Remus would be seriously interested in her? No wonder he was about to roll on the floor, laughing hysterically. This would keep Sirius amused for weeks, probably Dung too; and that would leave Molly patting her hand and telling her sympathetically there were plenty more wizards in the sky.

Was this a great night or what?

Remus's tired brown shoes with their mismatched laces were suddenly in her line of vision. She moved to her right. The feet appeared and blocked her again. She looked up and glared at him. She went to move again and he stepped right in front of her, very close, and his face perfectly serious now.

"Please don't go," he said, softly. "I know you haven't seen anyone for a while. I didn't mean it like you think I did."

"What do you mean, '_I know?'_" she snapped. "Turning into Trelawney, are we? Been gazing into the tea leaves or something?"

His eyes flickered.

"Well," he hesitated, pushing his hand through his hair, a look of uncertainty crossing his face as though he was debating the wisdom of this. It made him look very young and boyish.

"You were always here. With me. So I thought you couldn't be seeing anyone. At least I hoped not. And…I was always so very glad to see you."

She stared at him.

She remembered she'd been very angry about something. Furious, in fact. It didn't seem very important now.

"I thought you might get fed up of me hanging around," she said, after a pause.

"Yes, that's why I've been fixing the roster since November. I'm absolutely sick of the sight of you."

_Merlin, she'd only started on the old fixing thing herself just before Christmas._

She wondered what to do next. He'd just said two revealing things in a row which, for Remus, was tantamount to a gushing confession. Explicit statements for once, rather than the implicit ones she'd spent so many hours thinking about. Though he gave no outward sign, she thought she could see a hundred different thoughts running through his head. Well there were currently about a million in hers. Did she push him again? Did she wait for him to take the initiative? Was he waiting for her? Was he already regretting what he'd said? Would she still be stood here when she was ninety?

The intelligent thing to do would be to let him make the next move. He'd met her halfway; he'd stopped her leaving. The sensible, indeed the only decision she could make, was to keep quiet.

_Oh, bugger that_ _for a game of wizards. _

"Remus," she said firmly, "tell me about this plan of yours. Did you actually intend to ask me out before we both need help getting on our broomsticks?"

It was the right thing to say. The spark of mischief was back in the eyes that glinted at her.

"I was…getting round to it. I just kept getting bogged down weighing up the pros and cons."

"There are pros and cons about this?"

"From my point of view there are only pros, but the thing that concerns me a great deal is that from yours it seems to be all cons. Rather large ones. Sometimes I think they're insurmountable." By the time he'd finished he was serious again and his eyes weren't quite meeting hers. His tone was mild but she wasn't fooled; this was what really mattered to him. These were the stumbling blocks she had to smash through.

"Well downstairs is one ex-con so I reckon we can ex all the others too. They can't be half as much trouble as he is." She grinned at him, trying to keep things light, to restore the banter they were both so comfortable with, but his face remained grave. She knew if she let him start to talk about these so-called cons, the mood would change. It wasn't as if she couldn't guess what they were, and she didn't belittle them in any way, but time was so precious. This moment would slide by like so many others had and the opportunity would be gone.

There was one sure-fire way to divert him. All she needed was to give him the opening line.

"What can be so bad? It's not as though you're one of those weird wizards who still lives with his Mum."

He didn't hesitate; the eyes lit immediately and he was straight back at her.

"Tonks. I live with my friend and _his _Mum. I can't even think of a word weird enough to describe that, and -"

He broke off, staring for a second as she laughed at him. _With him. _And then he was laughing too. He knew exactly what she'd done and how he'd been unable to resist.

They laughed together for a long time and then the laughter slowly died away. She felt her smile fade from her face. His had already gone.

He stared at her.

For some reason it was so hard to meet his eyes, yet impossible to look away. It was up to him now; even if this all fell apart in front of her she couldn't push him into it, because then she'd always know she had.

The silence stretched out in front of them. She hardly dared breathe.

He smiled, rather tentatively.

"Tonks," he said again, and his hand reached out and brushed a stray piece of pink hair back from her face. He trailed a path lightly down her cheek with the backs of his fingers and she felt a shiver run straight down her spine in response.

She didn't move. She thought his hand shook slightly.

Slowly, very slowly, his hand moved to her shoulder and down her arm, and even through the thickness of her jumper she could feel his touch against her skin. His fingertips stroked her wrist very lightly and then his hand, dry and warm, clasped hers and his fingers were threaded through hers.

She swallowed. She thought he did too.

"I _want_ to believe this can work," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, the blue eyes, which were darker now holding hers, and there was no distance or artifice in them at all.

He raised his other hand, watching her carefully. Giving her chance to say no, because only he could possibly think she would. His fingers brushed her cheek very softly, very gently, and then he stroked her skin along her jawbone and slid his hand into her hair.

She waited.

She wanted to pull him towards her, but she waited.

He bent his head and kissed her.

She closed her eyes and he was gentle and cautious for a long, knee-weakening moment as she knew he'd be; before it finally seemed to dawn on him what she wanted, what they _both _wanted, and then he pulled her tightly against him and his mouth was hard on hers. Her arms were round his neck, and she stretched up and leaned into him, and answered him with everything she'd got. She felt the glow from the flames of the fire on her back, but it was as nothing compared to the warmth of his mouth on hers, the heat of his fingers on her skin, and the sheer blaze of joy deep down inside.

It amazed her and scared her and stunned her, and she could never, ever get enough of it.

She had to take her mouth from his in the end to grab some air. His hand stroked her back and his lips slid down her throat, so that she could put her face into his soft, thick hair and totally revel in what was happening.

"_Remus_," she said, not meaning to say it aloud and certainly not in that way, and he lifted up his head and the expression in his eyes made her grin uncontrollably.

"Nymphadora?" he enquired politely, if rather breathlessly, and she laughed for the first time ever at her name because she was so happy. He clutched her to him and she felt his thin body shake with laughter too.

Somehow they found their way to the sofa and he kissed her again, holding her face tightly between his hands, and they half sat, half collapsed onto it. He pulled her so that she lay on him with her arms round his neck, her head pressed against the soft wool of Molly's brown jumper; and it all felt so incredibly _right_ that she felt relief coursing through her.

They lay in silence for a few minutes. She did a lot more revelling.

"Wow," she said.

"Wow," he agreed.

He sounded a bit stunned, a bit pleased and a bit smug. She liked that.

His heartbeat was racing like mad under her cheek. She felt pretty stunned, pleased and smug about that herself.

There was more silence.

"Wow," she said again. "Erm…I can't think of anything else to say at the moment."

"It's the altitude change. Going from standing up to lying down very quickly scrambles the brain. Takes time to adjust."

"Right." It was times like this she could tell what a great teacher he'd been. Simple, to the point, no messing. Plus really hot. Those lucky, lucky kids.

She remembered how in her days at Hogwarts, she and her mates had rather cruelly had a game where they used a one word adjective to describe a boy's snogging ability. She'd got a nasty feeling it was her who'd suggested it in the first place. _'Slobbery_,_'_ had been bestowed upon Julius Hardacre, the first boy she'd ever kissed. She hadn't given him much choice because she was nearly fifteen, and everyone else claimed to have snogged someone and said it was marvellous.

'_Selfish_,' had gone to Christopher Catesby, her first proper boyfriend, although it had taken her far too long to work out that he wasn't, in fact, '_Wonderful_.' And '_Dragon-breath'_ was, unfortunately, forever how she would view Charlie Weasley after a drunken New Year's Eve snog, which ensured that to this day they were never quite comfortable in each other's company.

And she still didn't want to know what the hell he'd been up to beforehand.

She hadn't thought about this for years but now, lying there with Remus's arms round her, hardly able to believe what was happening, she wondered what word would fit kissing him. Intense? Passionate? Sensational?

Wow, she thought. _Wow._ That was it.

Another thought popped into her head. Something that had been nagging at her. Clearly she was adjusting to the new altitude level.

She twisted to look up at him.

"'_I don't do casual_?'" she said and watched him redden slightly. "You wouldn't care to elaborate on that one for me, would you?"

"Perhaps I didn't choose my words very carefully."

"I'll say."

"What I meant was, if you get involved with me you can't just have a few dates and forget it if it doesn't work out -"

"I can't?"

He grinned, but then looked serious. "Because merely by associating with me, you could alienate family and friends. People will disapprove. Strongly. As for work - well let's hope no one there ever finds out."

"I don't care if they do!" she said, hotly, thinking she'd relish the chance to tell a few people where to get off if it came to it. Although, hopefully, it wouldn't.

"You're not that naive, Tonks. And when you say things like that it frightens me because I think you don't know what you're taking on. You'd be much better off with a young, normal wizard -"

"Like Shane Stepper, I suppose. What a shining example he was of young and normal."

Remus ignored this. "With a job and prospects -"

"While you'd rather chase after Olivia Purves."

He paused while she lent over and trailed kisses along his cheek and jaw. Breathing in the smell of him, which was so uniquely his, and so very, very intoxicating. Working her way down to the warm pulse beating fast in his neck which she touched with her tongue, feeling the vibration. She let her lips move round slowly and linger in the hollow of his throat, and she felt his hands tighten on her back and he made a sound that delighted her.

"Actually…I've rather lost track of who she was." His voice was very husky.

Tonks laughed. "I hope you're not going to be as fickle with me."

"I doubt it." He rolled them both, awkwardly but effectively, and then there was a bizarre moment when he paused above her as though asking permission, and she gave an impatient tug at his jumper. He grinned and settled very carefully on top of her. They sorted out their arms and legs again, and he winced slightly as she banged his calf with her foot.

He was heavier than she'd imagined he'd be.

He cupped her face in his hands and looked down at her. "I'm just lost _in _you."

She shut her eyes because she was sure all her feelings must be shining out of them, and it was far too soon to blow his mind. He seemed to have no compulsion about blowing hers though. His mouth was on hers again, and then his lips were brushing over her cheeks like a whisper, kissing her eyelids. She pressed her face into his and slid her hands up his back, and thought this was so much more than she'd dared dream of.

Wow time, again.

Eventually he eased back, his hands still in her hair, and she opened her eyes reluctantly. He had that damn concerned look again. Time to gather her scattered wits and tell him what he needed to hear.

"Remus, I really _have_ thought about this long and hard." She had as well, because she'd have been a fool not to consider what was involved, and while her heart might run amok in fantasy land there was always a hard core of brutal realism in her mind. She'd spare him the part about giving up curries, and worrying if their teeth would clash if they ever actually got round to doing this, because that was on a need-to-know basis only, but, apparently, this was one prospective boyfriend who'd appreciate hearing some unflattering truths.

"You seem to want a perfect fairy tale with us arm in arm and a wolf-drawn sleigh full of Daily Prophet Draw winnings trotting along behind. I, however, am a lot more down-to-earth. Despite your best attempts to look like some romantic hero when you came in the room. You could have just put the lamps on, you know!"

"I didn't -"

"Oh, come on!"

"Did it work?" He grinned at her.

She pretended to consider. It wasn't easy with a long finger stroking her face, and tracing the path of the scratch near her eyebrow, which was the result of tripping over a tree root a few days ago and connecting rather painfully with the trunk.

"You could have done with Snape's cloak billowing out behind you. Adds a touch of the dramatic."

He nodded. "I'm sure he'll lend it me next time as he's taking such a keen interest in us. I'll bring Dung's pipe as well so I can walk slowly and mysteriously out of a cloud of swirling green smoke towards you."

She laughed. "While coughing your guts up?"

"Good point. I'll probably need some music as well. Perhaps Molly can recommend something you'd appreciate." He grinned as she jabbed a finger in his ribs. "Anyway I can't impress you with my wealth or my prospects, so," the blue eyes looked at her a little ruefully, "I lay what little I have before you. Which appears to be cheap tricks."

"I was impressed." Tonks raised her head slightly to close the tiny gap between them and kissed him softly, struck by the glorious realisation that she was allowed to do this now. She'd always thought his eyes were beautiful, but now, this close, she realised what long lashes he had as well. His lips parted and she murmured a few words against them, feeling his breath on her face, fighting the urge to pull his head down hard against hers.

The lamps and the fire dimmed around them to a tiny glow.

She tried not to smirk. Wandless magic was easy. Wandless magic while kissing Remus was something else. It was murder on the old concentration.

"You're not the only one who can do cheap tricks, you know."

"So I see." He gave her that smile which she was beginning to hope was hers alone. "What else can you do?"

"You'll have to find out, won't you?' She gave him her best flirty glance in return, from under her lashes. 'What else can _you _do?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. Oh, that look. It was…_wicked._ It made her want things set in stone. Just to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"You know you still haven't asked me out yet," she said.

He pulled a face. "It's more like 'Do you want to stay in with me?'" He realised what he'd said immediately as she grinned and, reddening a little, added hastily, "I mean, you know, with the situation with Sirius."

Ah yes, something else she'd given a lot of thought to. It was amazing how no one voiced aloud what everyone knew; Remus was acting as companion or minder or, as had occurred to her on more than a few occasions when she'd witnessed petulant, irrational Sirius, as baby-sitter. Most of all he was acting as a friend, but she wondered what strain it put on their friendship, if they ever discussed it. There was no doubting their loyalty to each other, but she'd seen irritation and frustration in both of them at times.

And irritation in Remus was so rare as to be noteworthy.

She wondered what additional strain it would bring if she and Remus got seriously involved. Sirius had seemed all for it, but had he realised what it might mean?

Remus was watching her. "It's…difficult to leave him alone for long periods. He hates it here so." He grimaced. "Which is unfair on you, and why I said nothing about this is simple."

It was unfair on him, too. She smiled.

"I'd love to stay in with you, Mr Lupin. There's always freezing patrols in some filthy, dark alleyway when we want to snatch the odd romantic moment."

He smiled back, relief showing in his eyes as they crinkled at the corners.

"I'm glad you feel like that, Miss Tonks, as I've already planned the next two rosters and, by a strange coincidence, it appears we're paired together again."

She snorted. "Do you think Snape will notice?"

"Is it very wrong to hope he does?" Remus looked at her innocently, and she laughed up at him, hugging him tightly to her and feeling the laughter inside him as well.

There was something very special here. She hadn't been kidding herself at all.

The only misgiving was to wonder how the hell she was ever going to get her head in gear for a patrol after this. She was damn well going to though, otherwise that sod Snape would be proved right. No way was this going to affect the rest of the Order. This was the first and last night they were all going to interfere.

"Severus was right, though." Remus was looking serious again. "People will think you're mad. And you - you could have anyone."

"You're right - I fight my long queue of suitors off at work each day." She put her hand on his face and stared at him fiercely, touched beyond measure that he could really believe that, and determined to make him understand. Determined to explain what _he _was giving her. "But I want someone who's honest, kind and has a wicked sense of humour. Who for some reason believes I'm the catch of the century. Someone unique. That would be you." She paused. "I do have one concern though."

"Yes?" He looked as if he was bracing himself.

"Do you like greengage or raspberry jam best?" She kept her face straight with difficulty. It was so hard to wrong-foot him and it was just great when she did. One up for pink-haired witches everywhere.

He frowned; puckering the skin between his eyes, taking his time. His lips twitched a minuscule amount, which she'd have missed if she hadn't been looking for it.

"Is this some kind of Molly Weasley Suitability Test? Do I get a special cake for the correct answer? Hmm. No one could prefer greengage to raspberry, could they?"

"See." Tonks beamed at him. "You're absolutely perfect."

He laughed but she knew all the doubts hadn't been banished forever. She certainly wouldn't be making any passionate declarations for a couple of months. While they knew each other very well in some ways, they knew each other very little in others. She'd never seen him or helped him straight after a full moon, nor really discussed it, and he'd need to be okay with it. And, because she was still a hard-headed realist in many ways, she needed to be sure she was okay with it too.

Perhaps one and a half months before any declarations. Till she was comfortable he wasn't going to wake up one day and realise he could do a lot better.

Okay, one month at most. Possibly three weeks.

She frowned.

"Why do you owe Sirius a couple of Sickles?"

Remus looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. The wooden witch, who was watching with rapt attention from the eye socket, gave him a cheery wave. "We haven't got long. We ought to get ready."

"Don't change the subject!"

"I suppose if I say it's 'Men's Stuff' you'll want to know even more?"

"Course I will."

Remus played with the ends of her hair for a minute before answering. He shifted sideways, slid his arm underneath her and rolled them again, with more finesse this time so they faced each other. There was more leg organisation required, followed by more wincing, a muttered apology as her belt snagged his jumper – Molly would have a fit – and fun deciding where her hands could go at this new angle.

"Sirius had a theory," he said at last, when they'd sorted themselves out, "that Severus was not, shall we say, _best pleased_ by our friendship, and not necessarily for the reasons he put forward tonight."

Tonks grinned. "Well the miserable git's jealous as hell of you. Dung hit the nail on the head. Didn't you say there's always been trouble since your school days?"

"That's true."

"And you being such a success in the post he wanted must have been the final straw."

"Possibly." Remus nodded. "Though I'm not quite sure I'd describe 'being a success' as having to resign after endangering lives and bringing the school into disrepute."

She gave him a pointed look. "Stop being so modest. Snape endangers lives every day with the grease on his hair. Anyone could slip over and break something. So that's it? Sirius bet you Snape was jealous because we were friends?"

"Mmm. Sort of."

"And you being so smart couldn't work that out for yourself?"

This time the smile was close to a smirk. "I failed to appreciate how much Severus admires certain…_illustrious members _of the Noble and Most Ancient House Of Black. But Sirius told me ages ago it was obvious."

"Well Snape's a terrible snob when it comes to the pure breds. Good job I'm not one." Tonks glanced at the skeleton clock, realised she'd completely missed the eleven o'clock bone rattle, and lost all interest in Snape and his unsavoury motives. They should get ready. _Damn._ She'd give anything for a Time-Turner right now. She looked at Remus, who was watching her with a faintly amused expression, which promptly made her want to trace the curl in his lip with her finger and kiss him.

Apparently the feeling was mutual.

"Snape said you'd take advantage of me," she pointed out when she could speak again. If he carried on at this rate there was going to be a passionate declaration within the next ten minutes.

"I know," he nodded. "And Moody's just told me he knows he can rely on me _not_ to, Sirius told me to do it weeks ago, and Molly seems to want _you_ to take advantage of me. It's very confusing trying to please all these people."

"Perhaps you'd better just please me then."

"That's the theory I'm currently working to." He leaned towards her again and his hand stroked her hair, tracing the shape of her head down to the slope of her shoulder. It made her shiver. As did his other hand, which was somehow resting on the bare skin of her waist, where it appeared her jumper had ridden up with all the shifting round. She'd have been very impressed at Professor R. J. Lupin if both her own hands weren't in exactly the same position under his. He was slender, but so solid and comforting at the same time. So warm.

She wondered if he was finding it as hard to keep his hand still as she was.

Clearly Molly had miscalculated with her latest batch of jumpers and they'd turned out far too baggy, which led all too easily to this sort of thing. Of course, knowing Molly, she probably knit them like that on purpose.

The thought made her laugh until he covered her mouth with his own again, his tongue finding hers, and she pressed into him, tangling his legs with hers. These slow-moving, deep kisses were a warm, drugging wonder that deprived her of all coherent thought. She could happily do this forever.

"Weren't you saying you were out of practice at this?" She managed to get the words out with some difficulty while he was kissing her neck.

"It seems to be like riding a broomstick." His voice was indistinct as he didn't seem inclined to stop what he was doing. "You don't ever forget. And before you start yelling at me again in your capacity as Alexa the Pirate Queen, I know I could have phrased that one better as well."

She giggled, which turned into a gasp though she tried to hold it back. His eyes were so dark as he raised his head and looked at her. Time was running out so she gave in to her earlier impulse and pulled his head down hard, tasting his mouth and twisting her fingers through his hair; which led to more incoherent thoughts and his arms very tight around her.

"Tonks," he said softly, his lips against her mouth.

"Mmm?"

"Next time we do this -"

She grinned; both at the words 'Next time,' and the fact that he looked shyly at her as he said it. He'd never take anything for granted.

"- would you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Could you take those boots off? They're absolutely lethal."

"How about _you _take them off?" Her eyes met his. "If you think you can handle it."

The blue eyes glinted at her. She decided he seemed pretty confident he could.

This working together as colleagues and having a relationship was going to be…challenging.

Sirius said as much in his own inimitable fashion when they finally made it downstairs to the kitchen - Tonks having never before imagined that she'd ever want to linger on the dark staircase or happily lean back against the damp, mouldy walls - and found him waiting at the table with the now empty bottle of Firewhisky, Dung's pack of Hellcat cards spread out in front of him, and what could only be described as a self-satisfied smirk.

With a sudden pang, she realised that for all his apparent carelessness it was he who'd sat patiently on his own in the gloom and waited for them. Waiting either to celebrate or console, and then be left behind again when they had to leave.

_Why were things so bloody unjust?_

Of course, the smirk made her itch to wipe it off him.

"Ah, here's Love's Young Dream all bright eyed and bushy tailed! The latter in Moony's case only, of course. And to think you owe it all to Snivellus!" He laughed raucously. "Obviously the cards got laid then. The question is, will anything else while you're on duty together?"

"I'm sure we'll manage to restrain," said Remus dryly. "It's a freezing night." He glanced at her as though to check she wasn't offended, and she thought how quickly the very different Remus she'd seen upstairs had reverted back to the composed, give-nothing-away one. It made her want to smile.

"I'll get the coats," he said.

When the door closed behind him, she thumped Sirius.

"Ow! What's that for?"

"Being an insensitive sod." Tonks thumped him again, with slightly less force. "We haven't had a date yet. We've had the most traumatic night ever. And…we've both got a lot to think about, like how this is going to work. Mad-Eye's going to be giving me non-stop lectures, and I'm sure Molly will be trying to have an embarrassing chat with Remus very shortly. Or the other way round. In fact, I'm almost wanting to run away at the very thought of it all, so Merlin knows how he's feeling. So if you could just give us a week _before_ you start with the relationship advice."

Sirius raised his eyes to the ceiling. "There's a war on, Tonks. Don't let Moony start thinking you're doing him an immense favour. Neither of you can afford to piss about."

She looked at him with the beginnings of annoyance; honesty forcing her to admit that part of her would just love to ignore her own wise words of caution, and hearing someone else voicing the thought - and that person being Sirius - was downright irritating.

"I don't suppose you've heard of the phrase 'We'll be taking it slowly,' have you?" she said.

"Nope." Sirius sniffed, clearly unimpressed. "Unless that's the one you lot trot out at inconvenient times to sound impressive, so you can then lay back with a clear conscience, watch your bra come off, and blame it all on us blokes."

She had to turn away to hide her grin and straightened up a couple of chairs to give herself something to do. There were a few scattered feathers on the floor and no sign of the owls. She'd thought Sirius had a strange white blob on his jumper – obviously the owls had decided discretion was the better part of stupidity and were spending the night elsewhere. The mind boggled as to what had been going on while she and Remus were, erm, occupied.

When her face was under control again, she turned back to him. He had Dung's cigar balanced perfectly upright on the end of his index finger, and he must have charmed it because it was revolving round and round in front of her.

"Put it away, Sirius," she said, in the tone of one addressing an eight year old.

"Not needed yet then?" He regarded her with interest.

She grinned. He was either trying to embarrass her or test her, and he was going to fail at both. Men like this – boys like this - she could handle any day of the week; it was the gentlemanly ones that got under her skin.

She looked at him shrewdly. "You wouldn't dare show that to Remus, would you?"

The cigar wobbled slightly. "Bloody right I wouldn't!" He smirked at her. "You've got no idea where that man can make chewing gum end up."

Tonks thought he really should be more concerned at the moment with what she could do with it. Still, he was probably the sort who always under-estimated girls, and that might be to her advantage.

She lent on the back of a chair and smiled at him. "It isn't needed yet, Sirius, so you'll have to hang onto it for a while. Besides, we were only up there for an hour. You shouldn't judge everyone by your own standards, you know."

The cigar stopped dead, balancing perfectly for a couple of seconds on his finger. Then it fell sideways as he roared with laughter and caught it in his fist.

She laughed too.

Sirius put the cigar in his pocket and frowned at her. "I still say you should jump on him. Get past any gentlemanly tendencies."

"You've really forgotten how to talk to girls, haven't you?"

He gave her a pitying look. "I never actually needed to _talk _to them, Tonks."

He ducked as she tried to thump him again.

"I mean it. Don't waste time. Don't muck around."

She softened, because he must know better than anyone how quickly things could change. The one thing she never doubted was that Sirius was loyal to a fault to the people he cared for. Remus was certainly top of that list with Harry, but there was no mistaking the fact that he was including her on it now, even if she was a long way down.

The realisation made her nod and put her hand lightly on his arm for a second to show she understood what he was getting at. He covered her hand with his thin one, in which the blue veins stood out prominently and the nails were almost colourless; and they smiled at each other, rather uncertainly.

She wondered what was going to happen between the three of them in the future.

Remus came back in with the coats and noticeably tidy hair (which made her want to do a Dung-like snort), and she started to speak about the first subject that came into her head.

"I was going to write on the window earlier when Mad-Eye was going on. A somewhat hysterical plea for someone to rescue me from all the madness. Good job I didn't." She grinned at Remus. "Someone might have come along and done just that and then I'd have missed out on so much fun."

"I can certainly see why you'd have hated to miss out on some of Dung's more astute observations. _Tonksy._" He dodged the gloves she threw at him and laughed. "I couldn't find your scarf by the way. The purple striped one, isn't it? Hard to miss."

"Oh, I knotted it round the troll's foot when I got here. Thought it might highlight it so I didn't fall over the damn thing. Hang on, I'll get it."

Her own rather dishevelled hair caught her eye in the hall mirror but, while that was easy to fix, she was completely unable to remove the broad smile plastered across her face.

"Oh, Merlin, another happy one. I'm going to throw up," said the mirror rudely. She laughed and gave it a pat, which made it wince and tell her what she could do with herself.

She morphed her hair black so it wouldn't catch any light from street lamps outside. It glowed like the richest coal-black velvet, with shining blue lights reflected in it.

The mirror shuddered and made a retching noise.

She grinned. She couldn't stop.

The scarf was indeed wrapped around the troll's foot, which she also gave an affectionate pat to. At this rate, she'd be hugging the next Death Eater she met, and paying for him to have counselling sessions in Azkaban. Hopefully, as she was still planning on sending him there, she hadn't gone completely round the bend.

When she went back in, Remus and Sirius were both suspiciously straight-faced and casual, with their backs to the window. Angelic looking. Sirius was quietly singing what appeared to be his own lyrics to The Stones' 'Paint It Black,' and the Hellcat playing cards were doing some kind of synchronized cheerleader movements to accompany him.

The pair of them must have been an absolute menace when they were at Hogwarts; especially the quiet, sensitive one, who gave her a smile that turned her stomach over, and looked as though butter wouldn't melt anywhere near him. It was that smile he only gave her as well.

Had all that really happened between them upstairs_? Wow._

"What?" she said, looking from one to the other as she knotted her scarf round her neck. How young they both looked. Like naughty schoolboys

"Nothing." Remus' eyes glinted with amusement at her. "Come on. Let's see what the forces of darkness are up to."

"I'm not going till you -"

He moved then, just stepping a pace to the left and she burst out laughing.

On the window, inscribed in the grime on one of the big panes, were the words: _Need a Matchmaker or Relationship Expert? Call Severus Snape and get knocked into shape! Confidentiality will be ignored and pillow talk is extra. As recommended by two highly satisfied customers, Remus & Tonks. Also by Sirius Black, who likes a good laugh. (Some tickets still available for the next session, but hurry, they're selling fast!) _

**The End**

**A/N: Well, as they don't say here in Britain, 'That's all folks!' At least it is for this particular night in their lives, as they've now got to go and do some work. Many thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed and, if you've made it this far, you probably now deserve a forty minute session on the sofa with Remus sorting out a few issues. I'm not sure about a sequel, though it's a possibility as I'm quite intrigued by the idea of them trying to make this relationship work while helped and hindered by the rest of the Order, who obviously have nothing better to do. However, some readers may be thinking enough is enough!**

**In the meantime, MrsTater has ignored the advice of several eminent doctors, and is writing a joint fic with me. It is provisionally titled 'Up All Night,' and will be the story of another interesting evening for Remus and Tonks. I hope you'll look out for it, and it will be appearing…as soon as we've written it.  
**


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